He was torn. He wanted to come and hear the results but also felt the need to work and support the family. They offered to come with me too but It is only test results, they shouldn’t miss work because of me. I am a strong, independant woman. I am the one they always come to for support and help. I shouldn’t put them out.

I get here early. I sit in the car and cry to you, Oh Lord. My heart is hammering in my chest and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour. I pray for the Doctor. I pray for her to have wisdom and insight. I pray for the strength to keep it together, not to make a fool of myself in there. I pray for your peace to wash over me no matter what the results.

I go up the elevator, 3rd floor. I walk down the hall. I open the door. I am the only on in the waiting room. I sign in and sit down to wait. The nurse comes out with a file and calls a name. It is my name. OK Lord here we go. What do you have instore for me. The nurse takes me to my room, takes my vitals, asks questions, then tells me that the Doctor will be right in.

I am sitting on the paper covered table. Alone, I wanted it that way, right? Then I feel you. Then I hear you. You are right there on the table with me, holding my hand, whispering in my ear…Come to You, You will carry my Burdens, You are with me.

I still have no real answers. I am still off to the specialist. I still must find my peace in my situation. Tomorrow will be better.

Thank you Heavenly Father for Loving me and being sooo faithful. You were there today, you held me together, your strength is what shined through. I will continue to find my rest in you.

Published in: on February 20, 2008 at 5:31 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I pray they find out what’s going on! If they give you a diagnosis, do lots of research on natural healing too. I would love to know what you find out. My friend has MS and she working on natural stuff too. I’ll pray right now for answers!

  2. Love You……

    Praying for you….

    God has it under control….

    I know you have heard all those words I did when I had my stroke in the winter at 41. But, I realized that God came alive in me because of that stroke. Whatever you face doctors, medications, and diagnosis, DON’T forget to be a God Chaser through all of it. God will heal you. You know that. Allow Him to do the miraculous. SEEK HIS FACE… trust me.. I did..

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